My name is Jeffrey Mark, and I'm the author of Christian No More, a book that details my deconversion. Here's the short version of my story. I recently turned 40, and until around the age of 30, I was a devout Christian. Although I grew up in a family that was far from fundamentalist, I still went to church every week, and slowly the whole theology of Heaven and Hell was pushed into my brain. Throughout my childhood I lived in constant fear that I would do something wrong, and that I had to beg for forgiveness. Every single movement I made was with God in mind, and wondering how God would feel about it. My friends generally misbehaved a lot more than I did, but it was not my place to judge them. And to me, that meant it would be wrong for me to say that what they were doing was wrong. One friend would pick on other kids and beat them up. Who was I to say that was wrong? Passing judgment was wrong. Although I never beat up any kids, I was occasionally mean and snotty towards other kids. And as soon as I snapped at other kids, my friends were the first to jump all over me and tell me that I'm a bad person for doing that. I would believe them and go in my bedroom, shut the door, and pray to God and cry and beg for forgiveness. I had to do that, because otherwise I would go to Hell. And so the cycle would continue: My friends would misbehave, but it was okay, because I wasn't allowed to judge them. But when I misbehaved, it was a sin. And indeed the church taught me I was a sinner and that I was a horrible person. And soon I started to believe it. I was a sinner, and would likely end up in Hell. This mindset went right into my 20s. Even though now I look back and realize I was a good person (as a teen and young adult I was always nice to people, and as a child I rarely got in trouble, except for those few times I mentioned), in fact I believed I was a horrible person, just scum of the Earth--all thanks to the church. By the end of my 20s, I was sinking into a depression. I believed I was a horrible person, and that evil was in my heart, even though I wasn't. And I was certainly a mess. Continues at URL above